Borders

Last week, I got a fantastic opportunity to visit the National Defense Academy for the Passing Out Parade of the cadets. It was definitely, a moment of great pride and honor for me. It also made me realize one more time – my freedom and the very fact, that I am able to live my life the way I want, is possible only because of the tremendous hard work and sacrifices of the soldiers.

With me, was my seven-year old daughter, who was quite thrilled to be able to see real soldiers who fight the “bad guys”! She was impressed, but also a little curious and puzzled, perhaps. On the way back home, I asked her if she liked the parade. What followed was a very interesting discussion –

Daughter - So mommy, where are these bad guys, that the soldiers fight?

Me - They can be anywhere, but mostly they are on the border, between our country and the neighboring countries.

Daughter - What is a border, mommy?

Me - It’s the line where our country ends and the other one starts.

Daughter - Who made this line? Who decided, that this is where our country ends?

Me - Well….uhh…the people who formed our country.

Daughter - So, is it an actual line marked in the ground?

Me - No, it’s an imaginary one, but sometimes there is a fence to keep out the bad guys.

Daughter - Okay, so if I go to space and look at the earth, I will not be able to see different countries. I will see the whole world as one….is that right mommy?

Me - Yes, absolutely.

Daughter - I wonder why borders were made in the first place…if there was only one big country, there would be no bad guys! Right, mommy?

Me - …….

I had no more answers, just one question….

The world seems so simple and beautiful from the innocent eyes of a child. Why then, are we so hell-bent on making it, into a convoluted and intolerant pandemonium?

The Walking Stick

Often, I go for an evening jog in the park right outside my house. It is filled with people of all shapes and sizes, but more importantly, all ages. I have noticed that most of the elderly individuals are independent, even though they might rely on a walking stick or some such. Today, there was a lady who caught my eye. She must have been in her late 70s or early 80s and walking quite slowly. With her was a helper, whose only job was to accompany her, lest she need any help. Even though I felt sorry for her, I was quite impressed by her spirit.

The concept of a “joint family” is fast fading in urban India. Also, with a significant amount of young population migrating away from home, I am sure there is going to be a great demand for such helpers. Unfortunately, India is not as well prepared as many of the western countries, when it comes to old age care. Most of the aging people are left to fend off for themselves.

Beyond a certain age, people do need help with chores. But, what they really need is another person….to just, be there. As someone recently mentioned, for most of them, other than their physician, they don’t even experience the touch of another human being for months.

I have seen a lot of criticism against children who are unable to stay, with or close to their aging parents. In my opinion, the problem is not as black and white as some people perceive it. And there is definitely no easy solution either. As much as it hurts and bothers us, my generation gets over it by conveniently blaming it on “destiny” (albeit, secretly harboring the fear that one day, we are going to be in their shoes).

One question that lingers in my mind – With all the medical advances, the longevity has definitely increased. But, is it really worth it?

Growing up

As I was browsing the newspaper yesterday, a cartoon strip caught my eye. It was about a mom of an eight year old, who gets flustered with the demands of her daughter for high-heeled shoes and fashionable clothes and finally yells – “Stop, just stop!” The surprised daughter asks, “Stop what mom?” Back comes an instant reply, “Stop growing up!” As parents, we want our kids to grow up, in every sense. We are constantly teaching them new things, urging them to take on new challenges, helping them to overcome their fears. In fact, there are certain times, when we even conveniently use it against them in an argument. How many times have you said to your kid – “Behave like a grown-up kid…you are acting like a baby!” And yet, there is that little part of us which secretly hopes that they would never grow up. Is it the change that we are apprehensive of? Or is it because, it reminds us of the fact that as the kids are growing up, so are we? Or is it the thought that someday, this bundle of joy, which is a part of our heart and soul, is going to fly out of our nest and have a life of his own? Whatever it is, the fact is that time waits for no one. And the only thing that we can do is spend it with our kids….so that at least, we are witness, to them growing up.

Women's Day

My dear “girl” friends… I say ‘girl’ and not ‘woman’, because irrespective of the age, deep down, every woman likes to be referred to, as a girl!

Last week, I was asked to judge a collage competition about - Transitions in the life of a woman. One collage that I found interesting had showcased the transition of a woman from yesteryears to the modern times.

It made me wonder, has there really been a transition? In some ways, yes. I see a transition…
in the way the modern woman questions being treated unfairly,
in the way she is unapologetic about her choices,
in the way she truly believes that sky is the limit…

But has there really been a transition in the way, society perceives her? I find it rather ironic that we live in a world that worships and reveres a picture or idol of a woman, and yet does the exact opposite to the real, living one!

But then again, change cannot happen in a day. And it most certainly has to start with us. We try to fit into the different roles that we are “expected” to play – daughter, sister, wife, mother and so on. Oh and we want to be perfect in each of them, because after all they don’t call us “Wonder woman” for nothing! But in doing so, perhaps we forget one important role – ME!

So my dear “girl” friends… go ahead and do what makes you happy, gives you joy. Not just today, because it is Women’s Day, but each and every day.

Trust me… the world will seem different to you and you to the world!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Is it just me or have the number of "days" that are being celebrated gone up exponentially? I mean, I do understand the sentiment behind Mother's Day and Father's Day...but apparently each day of this week is being celebrated across India (or maybe the world...I don't know!) Something like a run-up to Valentine's Day...it seems.

Back in college, we did celebrate traditional day, rose day, etc. But the latest one that I heard was - Teddy Day! Really? I mean, what are you supposed to do... Give a teddy bear to each other? Why???

Okay, Chocolate Day is still fine. Being a chocolate lover myself, I like this day. It's a different story that no one actually gave me a chocolate on that day (sigh)!

And then I heard of hug day and the best of all... kiss day! Hmmm....creepy! But then again, I am sure that the teenagers (and many older teenagers!) across India must have used these two days to their full advantage!

I am sure they are all making plans for THE VALENTINE'S DAY. I can't help but wonder... What after that? "You gave me a crappy gift on Valentine's day" Day? Break-up Day? Fight Day? Darn, it's Monday Day?

Maybe I am getting old...maybe I am not a romantic. Either ways, I JUST DON'T GET IT!!!

I am sure that a lot more "Days" will be concocted in the coming years, but my personal favourite is the one proposed by my husband - "Moron Day"!!!

Happy Valentines Day to one and all!! :)

Peace

It was the last day of the year. I was scurrying through the market, trying to get all the last minute shopping done for the New Year bash at our home. I noticed several cops on the road, probably preparing themselves for one of the busiest nights of the year. I wondered… how do they celebrate New Year’s Eve? Most of us end up gorging on cakes and drinks. We count down the hours, minutes and seconds. Maybe, pop a bottle of champagne at midnight… I wondered…how do the police on the road celebrate New Year’s? As most of us spend the first few minutes of the new year calling and texting our friends and family, they have to take care of drunken drivers and disruptive anti social elements. Furthermore, what about the people in force? Manning our borders…ensuring that we get to celebrate. Do we really think about them when we make merry, stay up through the night and dance our hearts out? No. Because we know that there will be a tomorrow, a peaceful tomorrow just like today. What we don’t realize, is that the peace’ which we take for granted, is possible due to the sacrifices of the innumerable people in force and their families. I think it is time, we acknowledge them and thank them for the priceless gift they give us everyday – peace!