As toddlers develop their thinking ability, they also start developing a mind of their own. If you decide to take them outside, they want to play at home; if you pick out a red shirt, they’ll want to wear a blue one; if you make pasta for dinner, they will want to eat pizza. And then there are those times when they cannot make up their minds and will make you re-heat and cool down the milk 10 times before it reaches the perfect temperature.
Few days back, on the edge of craziness…I was trying to handle one such “situation.” I was desperately trying to keep my cool and steer away from yelling or scolding. And then, it came out of my mouth – “If you do as I say, I’ll give you a sticker.” Needless to say, it worked! But, a question popped in my mind – “Did I just bribe my daughter?”
Every time a toddler uses the word “NO”, he’s probably trying to assert his independence or hoping to see the familiar reaction from his parent. When my daughter refuses to do something, she gets a strong reaction from me, exactly what she’s looking for – ATTENTION. If you really think about it, in this tender age, all that kids need is attention.
As the concept of logic develops in those little minds, they still need some help from us. And if it is for their own good, a little “rewarding” (as I would like to call it) might be the way to go.
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The problem is its good for them only in that instant, but then the clever minds figure out that they get rewarded by saying no..!!!
ReplyDeleteso yelling/scolding is not right but neither is rewarding... hmm so are we out of luck ??
Help please !!!
nicely written. but there are other ways of rewarding. like - patting, clapping, hugging. so we dont feel like bribing them all the time. i agree, kids this age are only looking for attention.
ReplyDeleteOne trick works for me...when dhruva says no no no....i smile and say yes yes yes...in te same tone as he says..and try to make it funny....he laughs and then finally does what i am telling him to do...so sometimes acting like them has also worked for me...